1599 MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
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Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.
Claud. That I love her, I feel.
Pedro. That she is worthy, I know.
Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how
she
should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of
me.
I will die in it at the stake.
Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of
beauty.
Claud. And never could maintain his part but in the force of
his
will.
Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought
me
up, I likewise give her most humble thanks; but that I will
have
a rechate winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an
invisible
baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do
them
the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to
trust
none; and the fine is (for the which I may go the finer), I
will
live a bachelor.
Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.
Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not
with
love. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will
get
again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's
pen
and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of
blind Cupid.
Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt
prove a notable argument.
Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me;
and
he that hits me, let him be clapp'd on the shoulder and
call'd
Adam.
Pedro. Well, as time shall try.
'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.'
Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick
bear
it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead,
and
let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they
write
'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign
'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'
Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice,
thou
wilt quake for this shortly.
Bene. I look for an earthquake too then.