1599 MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
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thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
Ant. In faith, she's too curst.
Beat. Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God's
sending
that way, for it is said, 'God sends a curst cow short
horns,'
but to a cow too curst he sends none.
Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I
am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could
not
endure a husband with a beard on his face. I had rather lie
in
the woollen!
Leon. You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and
make
him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than
a
youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he
that
is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than
a
man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even take sixpence in
earnest of the berrord and lead his apes into hell.
Leon. Well then, go you into hell?
Beat. No; but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me
like an
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say 'Get you to
heaven,
Beatrice, get you to heaven. Here's no place for you maids.'
So
deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter--for the
heavens.
He shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as
merry
as the day is long.
Ant. [to Hero] Well, niece, I trust you will be rul'd by your
father.
Beat. Yes faith. It is my cousin's duty to make cursy and say,
'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all that, cousin, let
him
be a handsome fellow, or else make another cursy, and say,
'Father, as it please me.'
Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a
husband.
Beat. Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.
Would
it not grieve a woman to be overmaster'd with a piece of
valiant
dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward
marl?
No, uncle, I'll none. Adam's sons are my brethren, and truly
I
hold it a sin to match in my kinred.
Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you. If the Prince do