ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
Page: 19

as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding
quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's
mouth; nay, as the pudding to his skin.

COUNTESS.
Have you, I, say, an answer of such fitness for all questions?

CLOWN.
From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any
question.

COUNTESS.
It must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit all
demands.

CLOWN.
But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should
speak truth of it: here it is, and all that belongs to't. Ask me
if I am a courtier: it shall do you no harm to learn.

COUNTESS.
To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in question,
hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray you, sir, are you a
courtier?

CLOWN.
O Lord, sir!--There's a simple putting off. More, more, a hundred
of them.

COUNTESS.
Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you.

CLOWN.
O Lord, sir!--Thick, thick; spare not me.

COUNTESS.
I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.

CLOWN.
O Lord, sir!--Nay, put me to't, I warrant you.

COUNTESS.
You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.

CLOWN.
O Lord, sir!--Spare not me.

COUNTESS.
Do you cry 'O Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and 'spare not me'?
Indeed your 'O Lord, sir!' is very sequent to your whipping. You
would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to't.

CLOWN.
I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my--'O Lord, sir!' I see
thing's may serve long, but not serve ever.

COUNTESS.
I play the noble housewife with the time, to entertain it so
merrily with a fool.

CLOWN.
O Lord, sir!--Why, there't serves well again.

COUNTESS.
An end, sir! To your business. Give Helen this,
And urge her to a present answer back:
Commend me to my kinsmen and my son:
This is not much.

CLOWN.
Not much commendation to them.

COUNTESS.
Not much employment for you: you understand me?

CLOWN.
Most fruitfully: I am there before my legs.

COUNTESS.
Haste you again.

[Exeunt severally.]



SCENE 3. Paris. The KING'S palace.

[Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES.]