AS YOU LIKE IT
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capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths.

JAQUES.
[Aside] O knowledge ill-inhabited! worse than Jove in a thatch'd
house!

TOUCHSTONE.
When a man's verses cannot be understood, nor a man's
good wit seconded with the forward child understanding, it
strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning in a little
room.--Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical.

AUDREY.
I do not know what "poetical" is: is it honest in deed and
word? is it a true thing?

TOUCHSTONE.
No, truly: for the truest poetry is the most feigning;
and lovers are given to poetry; and what they swear in poetry
may be said, as lovers, they do feign.

AUDREY.
Do you wish, then, that the gods had made me poetical?

TOUCHSTONE.
I do, truly, for thou swear'st to me thou art honest;
now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope thou didst
feign.

AUDREY.
Would you not have me honest?

TOUCHSTONE.
No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favoured; for honesty
coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.

JAQUES.
[Aside] A material fool!

AUDREY.
Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods make me
honest!

TOUCHSTONE.
Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were
to put good meat into an unclean dish.

AUDREY.
I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.

TOUCHSTONE.
Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness! sluttishness
may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I will marry thee:
and to that end I have been with Sir Oliver Martext, the vicar
of the next village; who hath promised to meet me in this place
of the forest, and to couple us.

JAQUES.
[Aside] I would fain see this meeting.

AUDREY.
Well, the gods give us joy!

TOUCHSTONE.
Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart, stagger
in this attempt; for here we have no temple but the wood, no
assembly but horn-beasts. But what though? Courage! As horns
are odious, they are necessary. It is said,--"Many a man knows no
end of his goods;" right! many a man has good horns and knows no
end of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife; 'tis none of
his own getting. Horns? Ever to poor men alone?--No, no; the