MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
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why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing
and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity.
You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the
constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your
charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man
stand, in the prince's name.

SECOND WATCH.
How, if a' will not stand?

DOGBERRY.
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call
the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

VERGES.
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's
subjects.

DOGBERRY.
True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects.
You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to
babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

SECOND WATCH.
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

DOGBERRY.
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I
cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your
bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses,
and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

SECOND WATCH.
How if they will not?

DOGBERRY.
Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not
then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took
them for.

SECOND WATCH.
Well, sir.

DOGBERRY.
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office,
to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle
or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

SECOND WATCH.
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

DOGBERRY.
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will
be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is
to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.

VERGES.
You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

DOGBERRY.
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any
honesty in him.

VERGES.
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse