THE LIFE OF TIMON OF ATHENS
Page: 6

TIMON.
Whither art going?

APEMANTUS.
To knock out an honest Athenian's brains.

TIMON.
That's a deed thou'lt die for.

APEMANTUS.
Right, if doing nothing be death by the law.

TIMON.
How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS.
The best, for the innocence.

TIMON.
Wrought he not well that painted it?

APEMANTUS.
He wrought better that made the painter; and yet he's
but a filthy piece of work.

PAINTER.
You're a dog.

APEMANTUS.
Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?

TIMON.
Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS.
No; I eat not lords.

TIMON.
An thou shouldst, thou'dst anger ladies.

APEMANTUS.
O! they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.

TIMON.
That's a lascivious apprehension.

APEMANTUS.
So thou apprehendest it, take it for thy labour.

TIMON.
How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS.
Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man
a doit.

TIMON.
What dost thou think 'tis worth?

APEMANTUS.
Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!

POET.
How now, philosopher!

APEMANTUS.
Thou liest.

POET.
Art not one?

APEMANTUS.
Yes.

POET.
Then I lie not.

APEMANTUS.
Art not a poet?

POET.
Yes.

APEMANTUS.
Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou hast
feigned him a worthy fellow.

POET.
That's not feigned; he is so.

APEMANTUS.
Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy
labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer.
Heavens, that I were a lord!

TIMON.
What wouldst do then, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS.
Even as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.

TIMON.
What, thyself?

APEMANTUS.
Ay.

TIMON.
Wherefore?

APEMANTUS.
That I had no angry wit to be a lord. Art not thou a merchant?

MERCHANT.
Ay, Apemantus.

APEMANTUS.
Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!

MERCHANT.
If traffic do it, the gods do it.

APEMANTUS.
Traffic's thy god, and thy god confound thee!

[Trumpet sounds. Enter a MESSENGER.]

TIMON.
What trumpet's that?