The Second Funeral of Napoleon
Page: 38

In the matter of gentlemen, democrats cry, "Psha! Give us one of
Nature's gentlemen, and hang your aristocrats." And so indeed
Nature does make SOME gentlemen--a few here and there. But Art
makes most. Good birth, that is, good handsome well-formed fathers
and mothers, nice cleanly nursery-maids, good meals, good physicians,
good education, few cares, pleasant easy habits of life, and
luxuries not too great or enervating, but only refining--a course of
these going on for a few generations are the best gentleman-makers
in the world, and beat Nature hollow.

If, respected Madam, you say that there is something BETTER than
gentility in this wicked world, and that honesty and personal wealth
are more valuable than all the politeness and high-breeding that
ever wore red-heeled pumps, knights' spurs, or Hoby's boots,
Titmarsh for one is never going to say you nay. If you even go so
far as to say that the very existence of this super-genteel society
among us, from the slavish respect that we pay to it, from the
dastardly manner in which we attempt to imitate its airs and ape its
vices, goes far to destroy honesty of intercourse, to make us meanly
ashamed of our natural affections and honest, harmless usages, and
so does a great deal more harm than it is possible it can do good by
its example--perhaps, Madam, you speak with some sort of reason.
Potato myself, I can't help seeing that the tulip yonder has the
best place in the garden, and the most sunshine, and the most water,
and the best tending--and not liking him over well. But I can't
help acknowledging that Nature has given him a much finer dress than
ever I can hope to have, and of this, at least, must give him the
benefit.

Or say, we are so many cocks and hens, my dear (sans arriere
pensee), with our crops pretty full, our plumes pretty sleek, decent
picking here and there in the straw-yard, and tolerable snug
roosting in the barn: yonder on the terrace, in the sun, walks
Peacock, stretching his proud neck, squealing every now and then in
the most pert fashionable voice and flaunting his great supercilious
dandified tail. Don't let us be too angry, my dear, with the